In a rut

I feel like I am in a rut again. I'm in a dead end job, seriously dead end we are going out of business by the end of the year, I feel like all my friends are getting married, pregnant, or going on adventures to teach foreign kids English. Where I am stuck in Boise, making no money, not dating anyone, and feeling helpless. Don't get me wrong I love Boise, and pretty much want to live here forever since it's close to my family, but I feel like I need to get out of my comfort zone and do something new. I've applied for several jobs, got one interview, got turned down for the job, and now I have no idea where else to apply. I don't know what kind of work I want to do. Do I stay in retail where I'll most likely be working every weekend including Sundays, have unreliable hours, and crappy pay? Or do I try and find something better? And if so what? I don't want to do massage any more which I went to school for and wasted a ton of money. Okay that's not exactly true I would love to do massage, I just have wrist problems that make it hard to do it. I'll lose feeling in my hands for hours-days on end. Not exactly fun let me tell you!
     So I guess the big question is: 

                WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE WHEN I GROW UP?

I know I don't want to do call centers. Yes they make good money, but I don't like people yelling at me for things I have no control of, and I don't want to sit in a cubical all day talking on the phone. I also know I don't want to work fast food ie- McDonalds, Burger King, Jack in the Box, and so forth.

I know I do want a job that will offer benefits, full time or close to, decent pay (ie over min wage) and a steady schedule. (I'm tired of having a different work schedule every single week. It makes it hard to plan things with friends when I never know what I'll be working till the week before.) Is that too much to ask for? I'd also like a place where there aren't people that are constantly gossiping and backstabbing. Which I know pretty much any where I go there will be some but there is sooooo much drama at Fashion Bug. I think working with guys would help even that out a little bit. Stick 9 girls and no guys together all the time and there is nothing but drama drama drama. And man am I tired of it.

So if anyone has any ideas of what I can do for work let me know it would be much appreciated.... 

Somebody

I was going through some old emails and found this poem. It was a nice little reminder :)

Always Remember This:


Somebody is very proud of you.

Somebody is thinking of you.

Somebody is caring about you.

Somebody misses you.

Somebody wants to talk to you.

Somebody wants to be with you.

Somebody hopes you are not in trouble.

Somebody hopes everything turns out all right.

Somebody wants you to be happy.

Somebody can't wait to see you.

Somebody loves you for who you are.

Somebody is glad that you are their friend.

Somebody wants you to know they are there for you.

Somebody needs your support.

Somebody will cry when they read this.

Somebody needs you to have faith in them.

Somebody trusts you.

Somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.


Unknown

how do you know?

How can you know for sure that something will not happen when it has happened 8 times before? You can't say this time will be different and know for a fact that it will be. Especially in my life......

Here we go again......

Every time one of my really good friends get into a relationship, I'm suddenly no longer part of their life. My best friend just got into a relationship, and I've already noticed that she's slowly been ignoring me. Okay maybe ignoring isn't the right word.... She doesn't have time for me anymore. Everything revolves around him and her job. So her I go again spriling into a round of depression close to tears thinking What is it about me that people don't like spending time with me? and Why can't I have a relationship?
I hate my life

Sick.....

So I've been sick pretty much since the beginning of the year. I have had a nasty cough, nasal congestion, sore throat, and now to top it off I got a bacterial infection in my ear which caused my ear drum to burst. So now not only am I coughing and can't breath, but I also can't hear out of my right ear. Okay I can hear a little bit but everything is high pitch or I constantly hear white noise... It's really annoying. I'm now on antibotics which will hopefully help everything. I've also tried every nasal decongestion and pretty much nothing is working. I'm going insane!!